– The instant healing that the music, dance, play, harmony, touch and the show magic every night created for me – and beyond me: the joy of creating with the audience, bringing lightness into their world while enjoying what I did, still managed to melt a lot of the severe stress and hurdles of what had become my daily life in side my head. Eventually I even had moments of peace and joy again stage.
– Opening up to communicating with my body in different way, even though I had no clue yet what that would be like, as I was more used to being judgmental and ‘fixing’ with it than being grateful for it… Even though I was confused a lot of times, the diagnoses had woken me up. I started to listen, relax into it more intuitively, be more gentle with it even though I judged myself and it a lot for getting HIV, it was still performing so well. Also thát was confusing, yet it was weirdly inspiring and intriguing what my body could do, even when I was psyched out, suppressed and depressed and unsure of what the future would hold.
– Knowing that life is All That Jazz – it includes everything, and what is even real…? So Razzle Dazzle them, LOL
So, there we go. Some of the unwrapped gifts now out of the box.
Living a magical experience provided by the universe. I was not quite acknowledging myself the co-conductor yet, although it was dawning on me. Apparently I required something BIG to happen. And the universe had my back.
I often say “I would do things so different now” and I would not be able to say that without having this experience – and one was probably the most inspiring of all the ones I had nothing in theatre.
Maybe not the most average life change of someone working on Chicago the musical – and boy, reflecting writing this out now makes me acknowledge the magic of this whole tour with this amazing show, the energy that it invites and what it creates in the world.
Chicago, and Chicago creatives, cast, crew, you gave me so much without probably even realizing that you did.
I hope you will have many more birthdays and change more lives by living ❤️✨
Photo’s by Annemieke van der Togt & Rudy Hellewegen